i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
