I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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