if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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