I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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