Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
