so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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