did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you win again, gameday.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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