Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
God I need to hump something, right now.
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