ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
