I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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