Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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