Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just want to make out with him forever
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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