I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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