We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
