you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
