Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You ruined the universe
Randomize