enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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