I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
