i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
