I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
