Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Edward fifth and chaser hands
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize