then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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