Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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