i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
