I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
