He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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