What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Randomize
