No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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