He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
