god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
