I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
