the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
sarcasm needs its own font
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
