I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
