Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
