maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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