people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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