I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
