I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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