So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
