gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
