i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize