It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
