Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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