If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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