i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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