allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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