I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
