you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
