Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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