Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize