So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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