The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
