i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
