Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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