I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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