My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
