Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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