don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
