you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
