Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
