I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
