Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Someone signed my nipple.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
