Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize