it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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