the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
