How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
