I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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