Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
