No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
