im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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