No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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